Five Reasons Why Children Don’t Listen To Their Parents
How often have you felt that your child didn’t listen to a word you said or chose to ignore you? This behaviour would undoubtedly be hard to deal with as a parent, but you would have to consider the possibility that the reason why your child doesn’t listen may lie with you.
Kids, by instinct, resist and oppose parental instructions. This reaction is not new to either parents or teachers. What is interesting is that the resistance stems from the counterwill instinct innate in all human beings.
To overcome this reluctance, giving effective instructions to your child is essential. Let’s try and understand the underlying causes why children don’t listen or do the exact opposite of what parents express.
- Your Child Pushes Towards Being Independent
As children begin to explore the world, they look to assert themselves and push against the boundaries of what their parents deem permissible. This is a natural tendency to gain control and control is something they have very little of in childhood. It is vital to show that not listening affects them more than it does you.
- Not Having Your Child’s Attention
People across ages have trouble accepting criticism. Children are not exempt from this feeling, and they proceed to tune the parent out if they feel judged. They may also avoid listening if they assume they are not being heard or their feelings have been invalidated.
Distinguishing and managing willful defiance is essential. Giving them instructions when they are engrossed in a video game or in another room will not elicit the response you are looking for.
Before giving instructions to your children, make sure you have their full attention. Address them by their name and maintain eye contact. At times, your children may be tuning you out because you are throwing too many directions at them, which can overwhelm them. Imagine you were on the receiving end of these rapid-fire commands. You would find the situation unpleasant and rather annoying.
- Keep the Instructions Simple
Rather than processing the parent’s multiple expectations or pieces of information, it may appear that they are not listening at all. Parents may be tempted to discipline their children as a means of ensuring their cooperation. When attempting to discipline them, certain dos and don’ts should be followed. For example, avoid punishment when disciplining your child. Often the instructions to your child may get lost in translation if you give complicated instructions. Keeping your requests short will help your children understand better what’s expected from them.
Kids may not be bearing the many responsibilities of adulthood, but that does not mean they don’t have their plates full. Expecting them to place their priorities on the back burner and give your instructions greater importance will be met with resistance.
- Follow Through With What You Say
In certain situations, your words and actions don’t match up. If you say one thing but do another, your child may see no reason to listen to you. A typical example is when it comes to enforcing consequences – parents may shy away from going through with it.
When you don’t follow through with the consequence of their refusal to listen, they will continue to push your buttons without fear of being disciplined. Here’s where consistency in parenting is essential.
- Going Into Lecture Mode Often
Having a tendency to break into a lecture whenever your kids act up, or when attempting to get them around to your viewpoint, will have the opposite effect than what you were looking for. There are better ways to get your children to listen than lecturing them.
Instead, engage with them in a way that fosters them to think independently and promotes autonomy. That way, you will be engaging in a healthy discussion that has a fair amount of give and take, and your children will be more receptive to your thoughts.