The Secret Recipe For Bringing Up A Well-Behaved Child
As a parent, you may have come across plenty of advice discussing misbehaving kids and how best to navigate their outbursts. The usual way of dealing with tantrums is to follow through with consequences while picking our battles.
That’s all good, but what if you could raise kids who behave irrespective of whether someone is looking or not.
Kids are sure to misbehave now and then. After all, it’s kids we are raising, not robots. What if we could curtail power struggles and focus on building healthy relationships with our kids?
Doing so does not call for permissive parenting. It requires limits to be set and authoritative parenting techniques to be applied.
Parents can even follow some unconventional yet practical tips apart from those shared here.
Raising a Child Who Will Be Happy to Behave:
This isn’t a three-step article that involves doling out rewards that induce your children to behave, but it’s about examining your parenting and how you contribute to their misbehaviour. Based on that, you can work on a relationship that encourages the children to conduct themselves well.
Here are some ways to elicit good behavior.
1. Display Empathy
Power battles between parent and child can get in the way of a loving and respectful relationship. We often neglect to put ourselves in their shoes. Do attempt to acknowledge their feelings, no matter how complex their behaviour may be.
When you start paying heed to their emotions, you will notice a sea change in their attitude.
2. Link Good Behaviour to Appealing Character
As parents, we do understand the significance of praising good behaviour. Our kids are encouraged to share, help with chores, treat people kindly, and we make it known that their deeds are appreciated.
What happens if we praise their character traits instead of their actions? When we acknowledge a child’s actions, we focus solely on their behaviour. Instead, when we tie a child’s good conduct with their character, they will think about how a person with that trait would act. For example, instead of saying, “Thanks for helping,” you could say, “You’re a great little helper.”
3. Share Uninterrupted Time With your Child
When kids test their limits, they crave our attention and may be tired, impairing their decision-making abilities.
The best time to connect with your child is in the morning. Have breakfast or read a book together before heading to work. When you go to pick them up from school, greet your kids with a smile and a warm hug.
4. Emphasise Values Rather Than Rules
Kids who are made to follow rules aren’t good at listening to their conscience. Fixed rules don’t allow them to consider options as they assume that rules are not to be breached.
Good values will encourage them to think for themselves and form their principles. Rather than blindly following rules, they allow their values to guide their decision-making.
5. Let Them Have Unstructured Time
Hustling a child from school to extracurricular activities and keeping their week busy with structured activities can leave them feeling burnt out and irritable. This leaves them more prone to misbehaviour. Unstructured time is vital to rejuvenate them mentally.
Do ensure they do not spend excessive time on their gadgets. According to a report by Pew Research, most parents feel that parenting has become challenging, citing technology as the reason for it.
It is imperative to focus on having a healthy relationship with your child while still enforcing boundaries. Help them work on their moral compass so that they turn inward for help in their choices. Make them aware that values take precedence over rules.
Focus on bringing them up well in their formative years, as it can be harder to curb misbehaviour later.
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